About five seconds after her head hit the pillow she was sound asleep. Mom was waiting for me at the kitchen table drinking coffee. I made myself a cup and sat with her. She did not say anything at first. Eventually she said, ‘I want you to treat her as if she is your girlfriend until graduation. You have that trip to Costa Rica and she has to set up for a classroom so you only need to be her boyfriend for two and a half weeks. By the time you return she will be in teacher meetings. One of the items on her bucket list is to have someone make love to her and someone fuck the hell out of her. The name she has for both is you. There is no second name. She says she is not a virgin and has been invaded by three guys. She got no pleasure out of any of them. The guys apparently just used her as a cum bucket, if you will pardon the expression. Make love to her first. When she seems ready fuck her to Timbuktu. She will know you don’t love her but never say that. And don’t tell her you love. I had to get passed this. Somehow I knew Hawk could get me passed this. Leaning forward, I kissed him very gently on the lips. Then I repeated the words I said so long ago it felt like it was another lifetime. ‘Hawk, make love to me.’ He looked at me. He searched my eyes. He could see the fear that still lingered there, but I knew he could also see the determination. He kissed me softly then slowly pushed me back onto my back on the bed. He moved over me ever so slowly and gently. He settled himself between my legs, but didn’t move to enter me or do anything. He held himself up on his arms, looking down at me. ‘Are you sure?’ I closed my eyes for a minute. Forcing the fear down as far as I could. When I opened them I could see the love and tenderness in his eyes. ‘Yes…Make love to me.’ He leaned down and started kissing my neck. Slow, closed mouth kisses. I ran my fingers through his hair. ‘I’ll go slowly.’ He said against my skin. I just nodded. I forced myself to keep my eyes open..
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